Mascot #8: Rowdy Raider

Wright State’s Rowdy Raider

No matter the mascot, WSU's situation is awful.

Name (6): Rowdy Roddy Piper should be proud to share his name with the Raider, but he’s not because Rowdy is a generic name that has nothing to do with wolves or raiders.  Both can get rowdy, but just about anything can get rowdy.  Three-year-old kids can get rowdy.

In a fight (7): Like Pounce, Rowdy has a gnashing set of teeth ready to rip some throats out.  Like Hink, his head is too big to have optimum speed and agility, even though he is in game shape.  All the opponent needs to do is dodge and use Rowdy’s top-heaviness for an easy take down.

Relevance (2): Rowdy suffers from the same problem that Lu Wolf does: what the hell is a wolf doing as a mascot of the “Raiders?” The fact of the matter is that the University of Dayton had already cornered the market on aviator mascots, and WSU was left coming up with something that had nothing to do with their school.  So they get one point more than LU because UD sucks.

Love-ability (5): Rowdy’s profile page on the WSU athletics website is cute.  He reads at the same level as most Raider undergrads, with his favorite book being the Three Little Pigs.  Bust a Move is a stock favorite song, but who would want to go out to eat with this guy?  You’d go to Olive Garden, and this guy with the Keith Olbermann-sized head is ordering pork chops and apple sauce?  That’s a colossal mess waiting to happen.

Style (6): The WSU basketball uniform is a nice touch, but frankly it’s fairly stock.  There are so many mascots that wear the basketball uniform that it’s expected.

This was a very scientific study that I’ve been putting together for years.  In no way did I spend just one hour on a Monday night in August building my rankings.  Mascots are rated in five sections, and in each of those sections they can score anywhere from 1 to 10.  The points, added up in the end, set their ranking.  I was helped by high ranking members from each Horizon League university in this highly scientific process.  These should not be viewed as my own ideas but those of a collective group of non-biased, PhD-holding scholars.

The categories are: Name, In a Fight, Relevance, Love-ability and Style.  The name is self-explanatory, In a Fight is how they would fare in combat, Relevance is how they fit their institution, Love-ability is the capacity for love kids and fans have for their mascot, and Style is all about trying to dress the best (which would be Villanova’s mascot, Jay Wright).

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