PantherU

Mascot #6: Magnus the Viking

Cleveland State’s Magnus the Viking

Magnus comes to pillage your town and rape your women. Like east Cleveland!

Name (8): Panther fans tried very hard a couple years ago to name him Victor E., which was the mascot we had literally just ditched before.  Magnus is a cool Norse name, even though Spider Viking would be awesome.

In a Fight (6): Should he carry a sword and shield, Magnus might be tops on this list.  But the poor Viking has to go fisticuffs, and something tells me he’d get his ass kicked.

Relevance (10): Viking name, Viking look, Viking school.  Magnus screams Viking when you see him, and with the colors, CSU at that.  I don’t know about you, but if I’m a CSU fan, I gotta love Magnus.  This guy could use some bigger muscles, but he always looks like he could drop a whoopin’ if he had a Viking sword or something.

Love-ability (2): Tell me kids like taking pictures with him, and I’ll slap you around because you’re full of it.  This guy looks almost as creepy as the end of the Two and a Half Men intro where the kid goes from age 8 to present day.

Style (3): He looks like he went shopping in the nanny’s sock drawer from the Muppet Babies, his skirt was robbed from a librarian, and that art smock of a shirt looks believably frayed.  I wish I had a sarcasm mark.

This was a very scientific study that I’ve been putting together for years.  In no way did I spend just one hour on a Monday night in August building my rankings.  Mascots are rated in five sections, and in each of those sections they can score anywhere from 1 to 10.  The points, added up in the end, set their ranking.  I was helped by high ranking members from each Horizon League university in this highly scientific process.  These should not be viewed as my own ideas but those of a collective group of non-biased, PhD-holding scholars.

The categories are: Name, In a Fight, Relevance, Love-ability and Style.  The name is self-explanatory, In a Fight is how they would fare in combat, Relevance is how they fit their institution, Love-ability is the capacity for love kids and fans have for their mascot, and Style is all about trying to dress the best (which would be Villanova’s mascot, Jay Wright).

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